Tag Archives: writing tips

October 12, 2015 · 9:19 pm

Thoughts on Writing – Using Foreign Languages In Your Stories

Recently, I’ve been making edits to The Multiverse Chronicles. It’s a pseudo-steampunk fantasy story, and it’s very much not historically accurate. We’ve got dragons, dinosaurs (all right, all right, I know pterosaurs technically aren’t dinosaurs, but still), dirigibles, magic powers, a dragon queen who rules over Britannia, an Industrial Union of Prussia that makes automatons… The list goes on.

Still, we want to have occasional nods to reality, and it’s nice to know which parts of history we’re butchering before we actually butcher it. Since the world is supposed to (vaguely) resemble our own world, we’ve been trying to add flavor through various means, and our latest method has been to insert little snippets of other languages where appropriate.

For example, one of the end scenes of the Multiverse episodes involves a group of airship pirates. The name of their dirigible is mentioned, and the name is supposed to be in German.

Of course, neither Isaac nor I know much of anything about the German language, which is a recipe for potential issues.

In this particular scene, Isaac wants the name of the ship to roughly translate to, “The Spirit of the Iron Vulture.” The first step to renaming this in German was to use Google Translate.

However, from our experiences with Spanish classes in college, we know that online translators aren’t necessarily that reliable. So, whenever I try to name something or use a word that isn’t English, I may use an online translator to start with, but I will usually run it through multiple translators, and then take that translation back from the target language to English to make sure it translates correctly both ways. (I’ve had a few interesting translations when I tried that particular method, as the translator might have had the right word, but not the right meaning). I also try to look up whether words should go before or after one another, if there might be any changes to how the word looks based on what it’s modifying, and anything else that might be different in that language.

For Spanish, this isn’t quite so difficult because I’ve had a few classes, which helps me know what to look for. Even then, I’ve had a beta reader correct my Spanish grammar, and that was helpful to getting the sentence right (I had the wrong verb form).

For German… well… I don’t know German.

I’ve picked up a couple words here and there from Hogan’s Heroes. (Not exactly conducive to knowing how a language works).

I really wasn’t sure what we were looking for in naming conventions, especially since the name we wanted had the “of the” portion. Then I remembered that a friend from college had studied German, so I figured he might be a someone to ask. I sent him a Facebook message, and he was able to offer quite a bit of help.

When in doubt, ask someone with more experience than you.

When Isaac first chose the name, he ended up with “Der Geist Eisengeier.” (Note: If your ship’s name has “the” in the beginning of it, don’t forget to translate that as well). With a bit more checking, I ended up with “Der Geist des Eisernen Geier,” but it seemed a bit of a tongue twister (which I probably pronounce wrong, anyway, since I don’t know German pronunciation rules). Anyway, we asked if it would be feasible to shorten the latter to the former, but our friend pointed out that without “des” (of the), we would end up with a really long, run-on noun. He suggested “Der Geist Des Eisengeier” as a compromise, though he pointed out that German ships would often have longer names.

Isaac and I chose the compromise (Der Geist Des Eisengeier), though knowing about the longer names factor definitely makes using the full name a more feasible option.

As a writer, half of the process of story research is knowing what to look for. In this case, I suspected the language rules might be different from English, but I didn’t have enough knowledge on the subject to know where to begin. At this point, asking someone who does know (or at least has more knowledge than you) is a good way to find a decent starting point. This can be used for language, culture, special procedures, technology… anything. Of course, the more you read, the more you know when you should conduct research, and the more likely you’ll catch where you might have problems before a reader does.

I hope you’ve found this post helpful. 🙂 Have you ever had issues with adding words from another language into your manuscript?

(Another good example of doing writerly research can be found at Thrill Writing, a blog where the author interviews various experts about specific topics which are helpful to fiction writers.)

 

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October 9, 2015 · 8:30 pm

Thoughts on Writing – Sweating the Small Stuff

At the latest writer’s club meeting that my husband and I attended, I read a scene from The Multiverse Chronicles to see if I had cleared up a few problem spots we’d found when I read the scene at the previous meeting.

Overall, the description seemed to be taken care of, which opened up the ability to notice other little details that were out of place.

For example, in this particular scene, the main character, Trish is meeting with various members of the Britannian army. The story doesn’t revolve to heavily around the military operations, but there are some present… and Isaac and I aren’t exactly familiar with military procedures (About the closest reference I have is from Stargate SG-1… which doesn’t exactly count, and I really didn’t pay attention to the military side of things. I was much more fascinated with Daniel Jackson and his archeological endeavors. There’s also M.A.S.H., but it’s been a while since either of us have watched that show. Of course, these are TV shows, so those might not be the most helpful references).

Anyway, one of the other writers questioned whether or not Trish (a private) would salute the corporal.

This is the section:

Trish had arrived at Corporal Smith’s tent, stepped over the sabertooth cub who slept at the foot of the door, then stood at attention in front of the quartermaster’s desk.

 

Of all the offices in camp, this was by far the tidiest. Every paper was neatly tucked in its proper manila folder, and each folder was labeled and placed in a metal divider with further library codes etched into their spines. Several bookshelves lined the walls of the canvas tent with books tucked alphabetically by author and several notable gaps between the books, most likely where Cornwell hadn’t returned them.

 

This time the lower shelves were empty. A few books were stacked haphazardly on the top shelf. The tell-tale teeth marks on their spines suggested that the sabertooth had thought them a chew toy, and Smith had disagreed.

 

“Can I help you?” he asked, eyeing her cautiously.

 

Trish saluted the corporal. “Yes, sir. Colonel Pearson wanted me to read The Honour of Tactical Flying, fifth edition.”

 

“Author?”

 

“Sir James Cuvier, sir.”

 

The quartermaster selected a stack of papers from its proper folder, skimmed through the names on his list, then winced. “Sorry, Private. I’m afraid Sergeant Cornwell has that book.” He gave her a pitying look.

 

Trish sighed. At this rate, she’d never get everything done. “Thank you, sir.”

After the meeting, one of the writers asked someone who had been part of the (US) army, and they said that a private would not salute anyone who is not an officer, and since a corporal is not an officer, Trish would not salute Corporal Smith, nor would she refer to him as “sir.”

Now, I’m not sure how this compares to the British army (especially of the given time period), so Isaac and I may need to do some quick research to compare the two, but this does give us a good reference point to start from.

On the bright side, The Multiverse Chronicles are supposed to be more on the fantasy side than the alternate history side, so we’ve got a  little bit of leeway than if we were trying to write military fiction with a lot of historically accurate details.

Either way, I’ll be making a few adjustments.

A different example of small stuff to consider is period anachronisms.

Another writer at the meeting had their story set in 1995, but the policeman in the story was pulling a cellphone out from his pocket and there were computers being used to check where a patient was being held in a hospital.

I wasn’t sure that this fit the time period (mostly because I was thinking that’s the problem horror films have nowadays… they have to explain what happened to their protagonist’s cellphone), so I questioned that.

As such, another member said that they thought the police might have had cellphones at the time, but they would have been worn on the hip (not small enough to fit into a pocket), and that the hospital probably wouldn’t have been using computers at the front desk.

By having someone other than ourselves take a look at our manuscripts, we authors can catch anachronisms or potential problems that we would have missed before they get too ingrained into our plots.

In some cases, these problems aren’t too big of a deal. They’re “the small stuff.”

On the other hand, these problems have the potential to throw a reader out of their reading, and so it can be good to remove as many problems as possible… or make sure there’s an explanation in place (or you could just lampshade it… though make sure you have a good reason to do so).

There’s a lot more I could cover here, so I may make another post about a similar topic later.

I hope you’ve found this post helpful. 🙂 Have you had beta readers point out things like this in your manuscripts?

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October 7, 2015 · 8:19 pm

Liebster Award

Liebster AwardI was recently nominated for the Liebster Award by writer Eve Messenger. Basically, the Liebster Award is a blogging meme that allows bloggers to recognize other blogs they enjoy, similar to the Blogger Recognition Award.

Now, I’m terrible at blog-tagging. Part of this is because I feel really awkward “tagging” people chain-letter style, and the other part is that a lot of the blogs I follow don’t actively participate in blog tagging.

However, when I made my post about the Blogger Recognition Award, I realized a large part of the award was letting other people know you appreciate what they do. So I posted a few of my favorite blogs/resources, but I didn’t tag them directly. Instead, I emailed them privately with a link to the blog post and an explanation of why I had nominated them. Four of the seven people I contacted responded enthusiastically, and while they didn’t tag anyone themselves, they seemed happy to know they were appreciated.

 

So, on to the Liebster Award!

 

According to the Liebster Award rules, I must now:

  • Answer a list of questions
  • Nominate other bloggers. (I’m going to amend this slightly…)
  • Pose eleven  questions of my own.

 

The Questions Asked of Me

1. How important do you think it is to network with other writers?

Depends on your goals. If you want to improve your writing, networking can be a great way to find resources and get advice. If you want to learn marketing, networking with other writers can help you learn what worked for them and what didn’t. If you want to socialize with people who are familiar with the trials you’re going through, then networking can be helpful.

Just don’t forget to spend time writing, too.

2. Do you ever read books more than once? Which ones?

Sometimes. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman is one trilogy I specifically remember re-reading, along with Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling, and Shatterglass by Tamora Pierce.

3. What’s the scariest or most challenging thing for you about writing?

Not being sure if other people are going to like what I write, and thus whether the dream of being able to make a living off this is possible.

4. What is the most amazing thing about writing?

Seeing your worlds come to life. And those moments when you’re re-reading your work and get lost in it without realizing you’re reading your writing. That’s awesome.

5. Where is your favorite place to write?

Wherever I can successfully get into the scene without being distracted. That being said, there’s a coffee shop downtown that I did a lot of writing at for a while, and that was enjoyable. I love the smell of coffee… I just don’t like the taste.

6. When’s your best time of day to write? Why?

Whenever I can. (Though I seem to get on a writing streak in the evening or early morning, depending on the day). But really, that depends on whether my day job is in season or not. If it’s in season, then I’m going to be trying to find writing time when I’m at home (and not working on book covers), or during the weekends.

7. What are three of your favorite words?

Um… I’m not actually sure. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. Though when I read the word “semaphore” in Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes, I looked it up on Dictionary.com, then really wanted to use that word in something. I’m proud to say that “semaphore” made it into the final draft of Magic’s Stealing.

8. What’s one thing that would tell you you’ve “made it” as a writer?

When I’m able to make a living off my writing (or off the combined books and games sold through Infinitas Publishing with my husband), then I’ll know I’ve “made it.” That, and seeing people enjoy the stories we’ve worked on.

9. In terms of writing or reading, what’s the best thing anyone could say to you right now?

That they really enjoyed a specific scene in a story I’ve worked on… (I love talking about my story plotting, so getting to talk about the specifics is exciting). On the other hand, simply being told that they believe I’ll be able to reach my writing goals is also helpful.

10. Do you have any rituals, superstitions, or preferences related to writing or editing?

I sometimes listen to particular songs or types of songs to get a specific scene in mind.

11. In the face of all the rejection that comes with being a writer, what advice would you give to someone to help them stay on a path toward achieving their dreams?

Keep working to improve your craft (writing or otherwise) and look into all the options. Don’t restrict yourself to one path. Figure out specifically what you want, and learn what it takes to make that work. Don’t try going into your dreams blindly, because there are a lot of pitfalls that can sneak up on you if you aren’t careful.

 

My Nominations

I nominate you.

That’s right. I’m going to shake things up a bit.

Since the point of the Liebster Award is to discover new bloggers, and since I’ve recently done a similar exercise via the Blogger Recognition Award, I’m going to open up my side of the blog-tag to anyone who wants to make a post in the next week. I’m going to pose 11 questions, and if you want to participate, answer these questions on your blog, then post a link to your post in the comments below. Next week, time permitting, I’ll collect any shared links, then list them on a new blog post.

You are welcome to continue the trend if you wish, but you don’t have to. 🙂

 

The Questions I’m Asking You

  1. What do you like to write, and what are you working on now?
  2. What does writing mean for you?
  3. If you could visit any place in a story you’ve written, what place would you visit? (Juicy details, please!)
  4. If you had the chance to meet your characters, would you? Who would you want to meet?
  5. What is your favorite book?
  6. If you had to recommend a specific resource (blog, book, website, etc) to another author that you found really helpful, what would you recommend?
  7. Do you have any preferred forms of social media you like to use? Why?
  8. Why do you blog?
  9. What is your favorite quote?
  10. What’s your favorite game?
  11. If you could have a special power, what would it be?

 

I look forward to seeing what you have to say. 🙂

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October 5, 2015 · 8:24 pm

Thoughts on Writing – Multiple Character Motivations in One Scene

Though I’ve primarily been focusing on getting the paperback edition ready for Magic’s Stealing (I ordered the proof copy today!) and making edits to The Multiverse Chronicles, I’ve still been thinking about the plot for The Shadow War. My goal is to iron out as many inconsistencies as possible before I get into the heavy writing/editing phase.

Today I’m going to look to look at a scene from The Shadow War and focus on how knowing the multiple character motivations in that scene can help improve the logic of what’s going on.

Warning: There are spoilers in this post regarding events in Magic’s Stealing, along with certain character motivations and the first major event of The Shadow War.

In other words, if you don’t want spoilers, you might want to pick up a copy of Magic’s Stealing before reading this post, then come back to read this post. If you don’t mind spoilers, then by all means, please continue reading. 🙂

Toward the beginning of The Shadow War (the second book) there is a scene in which it is very important that the main character, Toranih, is captured by the shadows. In the current draft of this scene, a city guard requests her presence for legitimate reasons, but once she’s separated from her friends, a pair of shadows ambush her and the guard, then drag her through a portal to where Shevanlagiy (the antagonist from the previous book) is waiting to kill her. Shevanlagiy makes the attempt, but Toranih takes her by surprise and knocks her aside, leaving Lord Menchtoteale (the leader of the Shadows) to try. He attempts to strike her once, but since Toranih knows that shadows can’t be killed by mortal weapons, she grabs the nearest shadow’s knife and strikes her own hand. She falls into the shadow realm, and Menchtoteale again attempts to kill her, this time making what should be a devastating blow with the Wishing Blade, but Isahna (the trickster god behind the shadows, the god Menchoteale answers to) heals Toranih, orders Shevanlagiy to leave Toranih alone, and orders Menchtoteale to train her.

At this point in time, though, I’m a bit concerned that all of that is going to seem rather… confusing.

Why does Isahna prevent Menchtoteale from killing Toranih, and more importantly, why can’t these big bad guys successfully kill an almost defenseless teenager?

(Though I do have to say that Toranih has been working on her magic, and she is good at physical combat. But still… shouldn’t a well-trained sword fighter with a magic sword, or a super-powerful sorceress, manage one partially-trained kid?)

Since I want these scenes to make logical sense, I did my usual day-dreaming to work out the problems with this scene. As a result, I considered the character motivation for each character involved.

Toranih: She wants to get out of this alive. Being caught by shadows? Not exactly conducive to her plans of warning the port city of the upcoming attack. Now, she’s been in the shadow realm before (in a slightly alternate timeline that got erased because of her actions–read Magic’s Stealing if you want to know how that went), so she has a bit of an idea of how shadow magic works. She also knows that–at least according to her memory–she’s resistant to Menchtoteale’s attempts at magic’s lure (basically, a mind control power).

Shevanlagiy: Thanks to events in Magic’s Stealing, Toranih has part of Shevanlagiy’s magic… specifically her resistance to magic’s lure. Before that event, Shevanlagiy could ignore Isahna’s commands (so long as ignoring his commands don’t alert him to her own secret plans). Now that Shevanlagiy has lost part of her magic, she’s not sure how much it will take for Isahna to give her orders that she must follow, which isn’t good when she plans on stealing the Wishing Blade from him later. At this point, she needs to kill Toranih as soon as possible. However, it’s important that she be the one to kill Toranih, otherwise she won’t get her magic back.

Menchtoteale: He’s in charge of wielding the Wishing Blade, and his job is to collect as much power into the sword as possible. He needs an army of shadows (to overrun the Immortal Realm so that he can kill the gods and force their powers into Wishing Blade). Toranih was one of the few mages who didn’t lose her powers when he wished the magic of Cirena into the Wishing Blade, largely because she had the support of a lower-tier goddess behind her. For Menchtoteale, killing Toranih with the sword means finishing that part of the job. Alternatively, striking her with a shadow blade means he should be able to command her. But he knows that someone who looked like Toranih was particularly resistant to his ability to command the shadows. As such, killing her is the more practical option, even though having a shadow mage on his side could be good for the army.

Isahna: His intent is to have Menchtoteale get as much power in the Wishing Blade as possible so that he can eventually take that sword, confront the high gods, then take their place. (It’s a bit of a vendetta after he lost the bid for power to a different god). He’s gotten surprisingly useful information from Shevanlagiy, but he’s certain that she’s playing him for a fool. Unfortunately, he’s not all-knowing, so he’s not sure what her end-game is. He does have an idea that her resistance to his powers may have dropped recently, and has something to do with Toranih. Thus, keeping Toranih around might give him a few insights into what Shevanlagiy has planned… especially since the kid has strong powers (if she can be coaxed into using them) and an interest in military operations (unlike Menchtoteale, who Isahna chose as his general mainly because the guy could forge the Wishing Blade).

There are other motivations behind these guys, as well, but I’m trying not to give away all the twists of this scene. 😉

Anyway, looking at those motivations, let’s take a look at the scene again and at what could happen instead.

First, Toranih must be captured early on in the story (or at least, she needs to be in a position where she becomes a shadow). This is critical to the plot, as she needs to be working against the shadow army from the inside. The problem with this is that, in theory, Shevanlagiy really should just sneak up on Toranih and stab her in the back.

Problem solved (And we have one very happy Shevanlagiy).

But we know from Magic’s Stealing that Shevanlagiy is hesitant to do that so long as Toranih’s other two friends are around. They have an artifact which can effectively wipe out shadows (and is a large detriment to her own powers). Not only that, but one of those people is Toranih’s sister–who has proven to have particularly good aim with a throwing knife and nearly killed Shevanlagiy once before (Shevanlagiy doesn’t die, per se, but she can get thrown into another realm and thus lose all her progress in this realm). The other person is Daernan–someone Shevanlagiy has been working very hard at making sure he stays alive. Putting him in danger isn’t a good idea for her–not yet.

Even if Shevanlagiy simply stabbed Toranih with a shadow knife and commanded her to hold still while she delivered the finishing blow, the possibility that Toranih might get destroyed by the artifact her friends have–thus permanently losing her “stolen” magic–is not a good risk.

So that’s an area I’m still running into issues with. Shevanlagiy needs Toranih dead, so the question is how does she make that attempt?

For now, let’s say that Shevanlagiy still orders a pair of shadows to kidnap Toranih and bring the girl to her. Now she’s putting the shadows–but not herself–at risk. Shevanlagiy’s first goal is still to kill Toranih… just on her own terms. She’s ready to strike when Toranih arrives, and makes an immediate attempt on Toranih’s life.

Since we don’t want Toranih dead yet, this is where we can see Toranih’s growth with magic from the previous story. She successfully thwarts Shevanlagiy with telekinesis… even though her chances are looking bleak if she can’t find a way to quickly escape.

Now enter Menchtoteale. He’s in the same location (which makes me consider… why would Shevanlagiy bring her captive to the same place as someone who might kill Toranih before her? Perhaps he comes back to their base unexpectedly early? Or perhaps Isahna gets wind that Shevanlagiy is up to something, so he sends his puppet along to check things out). Either way, Menchtoteale arrives unexpectedly, realizes Toranih is the same person he saw earlier, and he knows he won’t be able to control her easily. Forget making her a shadow, then. While Shevanlagiy is still dazed from her earlier attack, he attempts to kill Toranih and be done with it… except that Toranih, in her desperation, snags the knife from one of the nearby shadows and prevents her death by turning herself into a shadow. The catch here is that if he uses the Wishing Blade, that would kill her (but she might not be thinking about that)… unless he stops mid-strike because he’s bewildered that anyone would willingly make themselves a shadow.

He’s not the only one. Toranih isn’t sure what to make of her decision, either.

In the meantime, Shevanlagiy has had enough time to get back into the game. Now it’s more important than ever that she kill Toranih. She prepares to make the kill, but is stopped when Isahna shows up and orders them to stop. She can technically disobey his orders at the moment, but deliberately breaking his rules now would make it clear that she has her own agenda, which would jeopardize her later plans. She holds back, though she’s still trying to figure out how to take out her enemy.

Now, this next section needs some work, but this is what I have in mind so far:

Isahna orders them not to harm Toranih. Both Menchtoteale and Shevanlagiy protest, and Isahna makes the case that Toranih might be useful to have around. He orders Menchtoteale to train her, and orders Shevanlagiy not to kill her. When Shevanlagiy expresses her displeasure with the idea, he begins to question her why. Shevanlagiy tries making excuses, to which Isahna starts giving her minor orders with magic’s lure, ones which he knows she will deny if his suspicions about her are correct. Each time she refuses, her ability to resist magic’s lure dwindles, until he finally gives the order not to kill Toranih. This time, he successfully uses his power against her. Not only can he now keep Shevanlagiy away from his new military interest, but he has also discovered exactly where her resistance to his powers ends.

This is important for multiple reasons.

1st – This sets up a rule of magic that we will see throughout the rest of the series, one which Menchtoteale tells Toranih (paraphrased): “Better to accept the little things that Isahna orders of you, and thus be able to resist the commands that matter to you, rather than resist the insignificant things and be forced to do something terrible.”

2nd – We now see exactly why Shevanlagiy is afraid of Isahna… and why she is more desperate than before to push her plans along and find some way to strike Toranih and get her powers back… especially now that she physically can’t unless she takes care of Isahna first. Not only that, but this puts her in a position to ignore Toranih for the time being and focus her attention on Daernan, which gets into the sub-plot regarding glass-stone and protecting the kingdom from the shadows. Shevanlagiy is playing both sides, which makes her, to some extent, unpredictable.

3rd  – Toranih has now seen firsthand how magic’s lure works from Isahna, which affects her decisions through the rest of the series. This is especially important when Isahna offers her a legitimately useful deal later (Though it comes with it’s costs,of course. I rather enjoy stories with villains who can offer a hard-to-resist deal. Probably one of the reasons that I enjoyed Rumpelstiltskin’s character in Once Upon A Time). Along the same token, we’ll also see Isahna offering Menchtoteale a deal regarding Menchtoteale’s own freedom if he can get Toranih interested in trading places with him… and that gets into a whole nother set of character motivations. Needless to say, Isahna is going to try covering all the angles.

In the long run, taking a close look at what motivates each primary character to act, especially early on in your manuscript, can really help to work out the kinks not only in a specific scene, but also in the full length of the plot. Not only that, but you’ll also have more believable antagonists and stronger protagonists, because we can understand what they’re up against.

Now I just have to figure out how much to actually show in the story. On the bright side I’ve already shown multiple points of view in the first book, so it won’t be as odd if we see the occasional point of view from the antagonists.

I hope this post has been helpful. 🙂 Have you ever explored a character’s motivations to solve problematic scenes?

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October 2, 2015 · 8:17 pm

Thoughts on Publishing – Infinitas Publishing Status Report

All right, the time has come for another status report. 🙂

When Isaac and I first started Infinitas Publishing, we created an Excel file that listed our goals for releasing our books and games. Some of those are completely in the works (they haven’t yet been started), while others already have a fairly polished draft and just need editing.

Either way, I figured it would be a good idea to take a look at our current projects every once in a while and see how everything is going.

Here are the current projects:

The Wishing Blade: Magic’s Stealing -The ebook is now available and I’ve run our first giveaway via another author’s blog. I have finished formatting the interior file for the paperback edition, and I’m adding the final touches to the wrap-around book cover. I hope to order a proof copy in the next few days.

In the interests of time and money, Isaac and I chose to purchase the $10.00 custom ISBN at Createspace. It lets us list our imprint as the publisher, though we can only use that ISBN when printing through Createspace. Since it will be a while before we can try distributing the book through a site like Ingram Spark, we figured the printing restrictions should be worth it for the time being. At least this way we can have a print edition available (and through the money we saved by waiting to buy a universal block of ISBNs, we can now purchase a box of print books to sell and give away). I’ve also talked to a couple local book stores about stocking copies of the book, so we’ve started making headway there.

The Wishing Blade: The Shadow War – I haven’t made much progress here. I’ve got a partial rough draft from when I was writing Magic’s Stealing, and I’ve got some plotting in place (a few blog posts should be coming from that, too), but that’s about it. This is my next project after I finish editing the first half of Trials of Blood and Steel. Since I have the basic formatting in place from Magic’s Stealing, preparing the ebook and paperback editions shouldn’t take quite so long. We’re off-target on our planned time of this release, but we’ll see how the writing and edits go.

The Multiverse Chronicles: Trials of Blood and Steel – Isaac has finished writing the main plot, and he’s made quite a bit of headway on the “meanwhile” end scenes that go at the end of each episodes. Our plan is to polish the first thirteen episodes (of 28-ish? Haven’t divided all of them yet), and then begin releasing each episode. I’ve got twelve of those thirteen episodes edited, and after I finish episode thirteen, I’ll be editing the end scenes. Then I’ll run through the full thing one more time for continutity before doing a read-aloud with Isaac to make any further changes. Then I’ll proofread on paper, and afterwards we’ll start to release an episode a week.

I’ve begun setting up the Multiverse blog, but the main info still needs to be added, along with creating an episode guide and the main graphics. Due to the nature of this project, we’re considering holding off on beta readers, but otherwise, the first episodes should release on schedule.

Battle Decks: Trials of Blood and Steel – We’re currently on par with this project. We plan to read through our edits of the rules this weekend, and then we’ll be ordering a new proof copy with the edited cards. If everything looks good, we should be able to release on schedule. We still need to create a how-to video, but we’ll need the updated proof to complete that. If all goes well, this should be available in November.

SBibb’s Photographic Illustration – Not part of Infinitas Publishing, but still something I need to schedule (plus, it helps with the initial funding of the company). I have a few book covers to work on, so I’ll be doing those in order of due dates. This is one of the things I’ll be working on this weekend.

I hope you’ve found this post interesting. Once we have solidified release dates, I’ll make them public 🙂

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September 30, 2015 · 8:00 pm

Thoughts on Publishing – The Excerpt at the Front of a Print Book

I’m in the process of creating a paperback edition of Magic’s Stealing. I’ve got most of the formatting complete, save for a couple blank pages, and I’m currently focusing on adding an excerpt at beginning of print book. The idea is that as soon as a potential reader opens the book, the first thing they see is a teaser that makes them want to read more (and encourages them to be patient if that scene takes time to reach).

Keep in mind, when a reader is browsing a book store or examining a book at an author’s table, they will likely look at the cover, then at the back cover blurb, then at the excerpt on the first page of the book. The goal is to draw them in more and more until they choose to buy the book.

This is how I ended up buying The Girl with the Iron Touch by Kady Cross (and ultimately loving it) at a Barnes and Noble. I’ve seen other books do the same. Adding the excerpt provides a teaser so that the reader knows what to expect.

(You might see another form of this on a hardcover book, but the excerpt may be on the back cover, usually something of action or intrigue, with the blurb inside the cover flaps).

Let’s take a look at Magic’s Stealing and see how this compares.

Back Cover Blurb:

For centuries, ribbons of magic have provided the kingdom of Cirena with light, healing, and protection. Then, in a span of minutes, those ribbons fly from their masters, stolen, save for the magic of a few chosen mages. One of these mages is Toranih, a young noblewoman who would rather have a sword in her hand than use her powers to heal or throw fireballs. As a result, her magic skills are lacking. But with former mages dying from magic withdrawal, and the looming threat of an army of shadows who are impervious to mortal weapons, she must either embrace the responsibilities of a mage or watch her home perish.

Whatever excerpt I choose, the excerpt should enhance the understanding of the content inside the book.

These were the two excerpts I’m considering:

First Excerpt

Toranih cast a glance toward the distant mountain and shivered. The closer they came, the more her unease grew. It wasn’t her usual dislike of magic. As close as they were now, the magic inside the forge glowed like a star. Yet the whole place was shrouded with a thick fog, a veil that kept the magic hidden from the distance.

She frowned.

She could almost see thin filaments weaving through the fog, like the shadows of strings from a poorly played puppet theatre. The filaments lashed out in different directions, disappearing as they touched bright, sunlit sky. She tilted her head and squinted, but the strings vanished altogether.

She shivered and returned to picking at the soft innards of her roll.

There was something different about that magic. Wild. Unsteady. Like a foal that hadn’t been broken, and might never be. The magic was curious, like a dark storm cloud spewing cracks of thunder and lightning when the rest of the land was gold.

Toranih shivered.

All this magic was bound to cause strange visions.

So why was she drawn to follow?

In this excerpt, we get a glimpse at shadow magic, a sense of eeriness, and a taste of the writing style. There is a also a question at the end, which would hopefully draw a reader’s attention. However, this scene doesn’t jibe with the back cover blurb. We have a mountain forge, shadowy, string-like magic, strange visions, and some kind of call to follow that magic. While the scene should be intriguing in itself, it doesn’t mesh well with the blurb.

Second Excerpt

Toranih could actually see faint ribbons in the distance, rising from their masters. The ribbons streamed into the sky, a dazzling array of colors, then fled east, away from the city in a glaring river.

She looked at the bowl again and blinked her eyes to clear the spots. She had to know what was going on. The liquid had gone milky-white, but if she could see what was happening . . .

She ran her fingers along the strings at the top of the water. One here, one there. The tips of her fingers tingled as lavender wisps flooded the bowl. The image swirled, faint. The mountain forge reappeared. The man held his sword fixed between both hands, raised to the sky. His feet were spread strong under his shoulders. Ribbons streamed to his sword from across the kingdom. The sword glowed bright and brighter, and as the screams outside died into a disjointed murmur, the sword faded and the image darkened.

The water was clear now, devoid of life.

Everyone’s magic had fled into the stranger’s sword.

First, this excerpt shows the ribbons mentioned in the blurb. Second, we see Toranih using magic (which conflicts with her dislike of magic, but the blurb does say she must embrace the responsibilities of being a mage). Third, we see a bit about the antagonist. Fourth, we see the event that the blurb mentions, and the end of the excerpt sets the problem up further.

Ultimately, I’m thinking the second excerpt is a lot stronger as a potential hook, especially when paired with the back cover blurb.

I hope you find this post helpful. 🙂 Have you considered adding an excerpt to the front of your book?

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September 28, 2015 · 8:21 pm

Thoughts on Writing – Subplots and End Scenes

Isaac has finished writing the rough draft of Trials of Blood and Steel, and I’m about half-way through editing his draft (with plans to go back at the halfway point and start polishing, that way we can start releasing episodes), so Isaac is now working on the little segments that go at the end of each episode.

We’ve been calling these segments end caps (a cross between recap and end of the scene? I’m not sure how we started calling it this), but I realized that wasn’t the actual name for those scenes. Did a bit of research, and they aren’t exactly a post-credits scene/stinger (they don’t come after the “credits,” just at the end of the episode, and they aren’t a teaser, since they come at the end of the episode rather than at the beginning. They also aren’t finales or cappers or endgames, per Merriam-webster.com.

So… I’m still not sure what to call these segments.

For now I’ll call them end scenes (though even that isn’t technically correct, per this site).

Anyway, our goal is to have a small scene at the end of each episode which provides a bit of extra background without being required for the main plot. Preferably, it will be something that makes readers wonder what’s going to happen next, and how this scene will get tangled into the main story.

For example, this is one of the end scenes (Still semi-rough), which references a carrier pigeon that was set loose earlier that episode:

Miles into its flight, the pigeon reached the border of the northern Prussian forest. The bird flapped tirelessly, trained for such flights, though it planned to take a food-break once it reached the other side.

Or it would have had a break, if it had made it that far.

A pair of glowing gold eyes spotted the pigeon from the ground, waited until the bird was within range, then lifted its rifle, sighted the target, and fired.

The shot echoed across the trees, but due to a slight miscalculation in wind speed, the bullet only clipped the bird’s wing. The pigeon faltered, but it had been trained as an elite war bird. It compensated for its broken wing, angling its beak and tail feathers in its best attempt to direct its plummet away from its assailant. The wind coasted under its good wing, and the bird directed its dive into the thicker part of the nearby woods.

The marksman waited as the bird disappeared into the trees. Despite being ordered to retrieve the bird, it turned around on its spiny legs and began its trek back to camp. The bird had fallen into the Deep.

The Deep… even in the marksman’s strained memory… resonated with its core and sent a tingle of fear through its metallic body.

Despite being a small part of the woods, no one who entered the Deep ever came out.

The goal of this scene is to raise the stakes (an important message has now been delayed), to set up the strange, metallic marksmen (which will become a major foe later), and to do the first foreshadowing of the Deep (which our heroes will encounter very soon).

Technically speaking, this scene isn’t absolutely necessary to the main plot.

It does raise the stakes, but if we remove this from the story, the rest of the plot would still make sense, though we might lose some of the richness.

This is, effectively, a subplot.

One of the interesting things about watching Isaac add the end scenes after writing all of the other episodes is seeing how they effectively develop into a subplot (mostly detailing what the bad guys are up to).

Not only that, but the end scenes significantly boost the word count.

Something to keep in mind if you have a bare-bones story that you want to develop further–or need to increase the word count of–is that you can add subplots.

Are there any plot threads that readers might find interesting that add to the story?

On the other hand, if you need to reduce your word count, cutting a subplot may be the way to go, particularly if there’s a thread that slows things down rather than keeps the pace moving. (If you need a breather, a subplot may be a nice way to release tension).

The next decision Isaac and I need to make is whether to have these end scenes be a separate post of their own, so it’s clear that they don’t have to be read for the main story to make sense (though I certainly enjoy them), or whether to include them at the end of the episode, perhaps with a telling Meanwhile… to denote that these are something separate from the main story.

I hope you’ve found this post helpful. 🙂 Have any thoughts about subplots you’ve found to be effective or ineffective?

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September 23, 2015 · 10:19 pm

Thoughts on Publishing – Starting a Publishing Imprint

A couple days ago I was talking with an author friend, and they asked about the process of how my husband and I started Infinitas Publishing. I typed up a response, then realized that other people might also find this information useful. So here it is… the basics of how my husband and I started a business.

IMPORTANT: I am not a lawyer nor am I certified in taxes, so please do not take this as legal advice. These are just my experiences thus far, and are meant to be useful in figuring out what steps you may need to take.

Also note that this process varies depending on your location and the kind of business you want to start. This particular post is tailored to my experiences starting a publishing imprint in Missouri, in the United States of America. (Business law varies from state to state).

Choosing a Name

First off, my husband and I chose the name of our business. We chose Infinitas Publishing. We did a Google and Bing search, since the results are different, to see if there was anything too similar to the name already.

We found a few similar names, but we decided that our specific product (speculative fiction and games) and branding was different enough that the two companies wouldn’t easily be confused.

Once we found that we were in the clear for general terms, we did a trademark search. Since trademark law tends to be a pain and I still don’t feel like I have a good grasp on it, I figured we’d be best off avoiding anything too close to something that already existed.

As a side note, if the trademarks can’t easily be mistaken for each other, and they involve unrelated products, they should be free for use. (For example, if two trademark names were similar, but one related to a brand of vacuums and the other to a doggy day care. Completely different uses, so the companies can have similar trademarks.)

As an example, at one point Isaac and I called Battle Decks “Beastie Wars”… only to discover that “Beast Wars” was already in use by Transformers. Since both products involve entertainment and games, we decided to steer clear of the name. Not only that, but renaming the game Battle Decks gives us more versatility in future game expansions… never mind that there’s a PowerPoint slide competition of the same name. The game and event shouldn’t be easily be mistaken, however, so that shouldn’t cause any mix-ups.

To look up a trademark, I used the Basic Search Database (Under TESS, click “Search Trademark Database”), and told it to search “all” words.

Fictitious Name Registration / DBA
After we chose the name, we registered for a fictitious name / Doing Business As (DBA) license. For Missouri, this cost $7.00 and lasts for five years (which reminds me that I’ll need to renew my SBibb’s Photographic Illustration DBA soon). This allows you to legally use the business name instead of your own.

Determine the Business Type
You also need to decide what kind of business you’re starting. There are four major structures, including Corporations, but a Sole-proprietorship, Partnership, and Limited Liability Corporation (LLC) are the ones you’re most likely to run into at this stage.

Nolo has some great information in regards to business practices.

An LLC has the benefit of protecting your personal assets in the event of a lawsuit, but it does have a higher start-up cost. There are also certain tax benefits, and the salary structure is different but I’m not as familiar with this business structure, so I can’t say what those benefits are off the top of my head. If you are if you are publishing multiple authors or publishing materials that could result in a lawsuit, you may want to go the route of an LLC.

EDIT: Check out Raistlin212’s comments below for a better explanation of the benefits of the LLC business structure.

A sole-proprietorship is by far the easiest business to start, as all money coming into the business flows directly to you. Technically, once you have the DBA and EIN, you have the basics you need to start the business online. (This is the structure I use for SBibb’s Photographic Illustration).

A partnership is like a sole-proprietorship, except you have multiple people involved and there’s an extra form you need to fill out for income taxes (Form 1065 and the resulting K-1, which I’m not looking forward to figuring out next year, but I know a couple people I can ask for assistance). This is the structure my husband and I chose for Infinitas Publishing.

Employer Identification Number (EIN)
Once you have the DBA, you can apply for an EIN (Employer Identification Number) through the IRS (so many acronyms, I know). This number is handy because it identifies your business on tax forms. The EIN is registered on the federal level. You apply online and you get the number immediately upon completing the form. Doesn’t cost anything either, and you have a different number for each business (Infinitas Publishing has a different EIN than SBibb’s Photographic Illustration).

If you have any questions about filling out the form, your local bank may be able to help. I had a bit of trouble trying to call the IRS help line (I felt like I was playing a Choose Your Own Adventure game, phone style), but the people at the bank were able to answer my questions in regards to start dates and such.

If you are doing freelance work, having this number is nice because it gives you a number to give contractors for the Form 1099-Misc without having to give them your social security number.

Business Bank Account
It is usually recommended that you have a separate banking account for your business to keep your income and expenses organized. This may especially be helpful if you’re ever asked to produce records for tax purposes.

Check with your bank to see what they require to start an account. I went to US Bank, since I was familiar with them and they had a basic package that suited our needs and wouldn’t cost us money to use. This was important since we didn’t expect a high inflow of money to start with. For a partnership, our local branch required a General Partnership Agreement (an LLC needed an Operating Agreement). They also needed the EIN, and I think they needed proof of the registered DBA. It took a couple weeks for this to show up in their system, so be sure to plan ample time between getting everything registered and actually starting the business.

If you need assistance with the General Partnership Agreement or Operating Agreement, there are several sites online that offer free templates. Once you find a suitable template, you can tweak it to fit your needs.

If nothing else, this agreement acts as a guide to each partner’s responsibilities in the case of misunderstandings or if anything gets rough. Now, if you want to be sure that everything is legally correct, you may want to hire a lawyer to look over your forms.

Since Infinitas Publishing is between my husband and I, we didn’t do this, though we did make sure that we understood everything in our agreement and that it suited our needs.

For SBibb’s Photographic Illustration, I don’t use a separate bank account. Due to the nature of my work, I have very few expenses that I apply to that business. However, I do keep a ledger of all income, and it is still advisable to have a separate account, even if you’re a sole-proprietor.

Online Payments
Once the business bank account was set up, I created a business Paypal account and input the new information into my Kindle, Createspace, Smashwords, and The Game Crafter settings. Now when we receive royalty payments or purchase proofs, they’ll be linked to the business, rather than our personal accounts.

Smashwords Publisher Account
Smashwords has a “publisher” account option, which I upgraded to so that my works would show up as published by Infinitas Publishing. Then I created “ghost” author accounts for my Stephanie Flint and Stephanie Bibb names, and I’ll add Isaac’s name once we start publishing our co-authored works.

Sales Tax
Our next step will be to fill out the Missouri Sales Tax form. During the time that we only had ebooks, we didn’t need to worry about sales tax, but once we get print books made, which we plan to offer to bookstores and try selling at a local holiday market, we’ll need to collect Missouri sales tax.

As a side note, I’m not sure about what differences we’ll see when I get to selling wholesale (to bookstores) versus retail (holiday market). I’m still researching this, so I’m a bit sketchy on this. However, when emailing the Missouri Department of Revenue, I’ve been able to get some very helpful information on what forms we’ll need to fill out (Form 2643 and 53-1), along with details about the form.

Give yourself a bit of time to get through it all, but definitely ask if you have questions.

Important: Check with whichever state(s) you’re doing business in, because the requirements vary.

Final Notes
Of course, all of this information is for if you plan to self-publish rather than seek representation through a trade publisher. Be sure to research both sides thoroughly, as there are pros and cons to each.

Granted, this doesn’t even cover creating a logo, a website, buying ISBNs, approaching book stores, and everything else I’ve forgotten at this point. But hopefully it will give you a starting point, and maybe I’ll talk about the “branding” and marketing side of things at a later date.

Also, If you’re curious to read more about the business side of publishing, take a look at Kristine Kathryn Rusch’s “Freelancer’s Survival Guide.”

I picked up a copy through a StoryBundle offer, and while I’m still in the process, it has been immensely helpful in considering what steps to take to start the business. Plus, some of the articles are on her website for free, so you can read through whichever ones you need. 🙂

I hope you find this post useful. Do you have any tips for starting a publishing business?

***

By the way, Carissa Taylor was awesome and agreed to host a give-away of one free, ebook copy of Magic’s Stealing, so if you’re interested in winning a copy, head over to her blog.

She also has some really useful information on Twitter pitching and a list of literary agencies that accept YA science fiction and fantasy, so be sure to check those out as well. 😀

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September 21, 2015 · 8:07 pm

Thoughts on Writing – Transitions and Adding Emotion to a Scene

Every couple of weeks, my husband and I meet with the local writing critique group. While there, everyone shares relevant announcements, and we usually critique a small section of each other’s work.

Last week I brought in an episode of The Multiverse Chronicles. My husband plots and writes the first draft, which I then polish. Most of the other episodes haven’t been too problematic, but this particular episode was giving me issues. I’d already tried editing it a few different times, but it still sounded… flat. I knew the transitions weren’t quite working, but something else was missing, too.

Once I read the piece aloud, the group pointed out that it lacked the usual description and emotion I tried to invoke. Thus, having someone who is familiar with our work can be helpful.

Critique partners can see the things which usually embody our work, even if we can’t.

So, after applying the basic suggestions the group made, I went back and sought ways to deepen the emotions of the main character, along with boosting the imagery in each of her “flashbacks” so that the reader would feel better grounded in the reality of the story.

For example, this is what one section looked like while I was still having difficulties editing it:

Trish had been at camp for seven days now, and thus far her training had consisted of textbooks, tests, practicing basic commands with her pterosaur (which, she noted as she stared at the starry sky, still remained nameless), and meeting with Colonel Pearson.

 

The meetings were the worst.

 

“Ivers, you seem to be making good progress,” the colonel would say, trailing his finger along a clipboard of notes, “but—” Always, that annoying ‘but.’ “—you need to work on your skills. Have you remembered to meditate with your drake?”

 

She flexed her shoulders. Maybe he never mentioned meditating with the pterosaur, but he usually gave her some unimportant task that she needed to complete.

 

“Ah-ha! Now here is a test that will measure your skills on meditating. Don’t forget to read chapters seven through nine of The Honor of Tactical Flying.”

 

Trish sighed and bit off another chunk of her granola.

 

The camp had only one copy of each book, which meant Trish had to go to the quartermaster to check them out.

Not only does the scene need a bit of tweaking in regards to transitioning the flashbacks, it also lacks a sense of the surroundings, and the emotion behind it feels dull.

This is what the section looks like now that I’ve added more description and focused on the emotion:

This was her seventh day at camp, and thus far her training consisted of textbooks, tests, practicing basic commands with her pterosaur—which, she noted as she stared at the starry sky, still remained nameless—and meeting with Colonel Pearson.

(Note that using em dashes instead of parentheses have improved the flow of her thoughts)

 

She inhaled the brisk air at let it out slowly, counting down from ten to relax her thoughts.

 

The meetings were the worst thing about being here.

(We’re starting to get a sense of her impatience)

 

The colonel would trail his finger along a clipboard of notes, tap his chin thoughtfully, then meet her gaze with his piercing blue eyes. “Ivers, you seem to be making good progress, but—”Always that annoying ‘but’ “—you need to work on your skills. Have you been meditating with your drake? Surely you haven’t forgotten.”

(The use of ‘would’ following colonel suggests that she’s thinking about this, not that it’s happening right now. Plus, ‘piercing’ eyes (however cliche) denote that she’s uncomfortable). Adding ‘Surely you haven’t forgotten’ gives her that feeling of being put on the spot. Already, we’ve got a lot more emotional details and descriptors to ground us in the scene)

 

Trish flexed her shoulders. Maybe Pearson had never mentioned meditating with her pterosaur, but he usually gave her some unimportant task that she needed to complete. Like checking the feed levels of the other pterosaurs, or cleaning the cages while the riders were out, or reading.

(By saying ‘Maybe Pearson had‘ shows that we’re back in the present. And the list of complaints continues to show mounting agitation)

 

So much incessant reading.

 

“Ah-ha!” Pearson had exclaimed upon skimming through a tiny red booklet that Trish was fairly certain should have been titled A Thousand Ways to Torture Private Ivers. “Now here is a test that will measure your skills! Read chapters seven through nine of The Honour of Tactical Flying, then report back for your next assignment.”

(By having the line ‘So much incessant reading’ on it’s own line, and then going to ‘ “Ah-ha!” Pearson had…’, we make room for another flashback. The choice of ‘incessant’ further shows Trish’s annoyance. And then we have ‘A Thousand Ways to Torture Private Ivers.’ She feels she’s being treated harshly.)

 

Colonel Pearson had grinned, tossed his clipboard on a stack of papers, then dismissed her to her chores.

(I’m debating on the phrasing of this, but currently, saying that Pearson ‘had’ done this cues that we’re coming back to the present)

 

Trish sighed and bit off another chunk of her granola.

(Yay, monotony…)

 

On the bright side, she didn’t have to go through all the same physical drills as the other riders. She got her exercise from running tent-to-tent, trying to locate the miscellaneous items she needed to please her superior officer. The camp had only one copy of each of the primary textbooks, which meant Trish had to go Corporal Smith, the quartermaster, to check them out.

(Adding the bits about her having to run from tent-to-tent and locating miscelleneous items adds to the feeling that she doesn’t think this is important… especially since she doesn’t bother to consider what those miscellaneous items are)

Overall, I think the edited section reads more like the other scenes now. The flashback transitions read smoother, and there’s enough detail to ground me as a reader in what is happening. Plus, we now have a sense that Trish is genuinely annoyed and impatient, rather than just ‘ho-hum’ about her daily life at camp.

I’m still in the process of editing the rest of the episode, but now that I know where to go with it, I think editing will go much smoother.

If you’re in a problem spot, see if you can find a trusty beta reader or critique partner to take a look, even if it’s just a small scene. They may be able to see what you’re missing, especially if they’re familiar with your work.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Have you found any tricks to adding emotions to a scene or transitioning flashbacks?

***

By the way, author Jordan Elizabeth was kind enough to feature my book on her blog, Kissed by Literature. Check it out to find another sneak peak of Magic’s Stealing, and to see what other books she has featured. 😀

Also, Cathleen Townsend has written the first review of Magic’s Stealing! Find it (and other reviews) at her blog, The Beauty of Words. 😀

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September 18, 2015 · 10:00 pm

Thoughts on Writing – Developing a Mythology

Now that I’ve launched Magic’s Stealing, it’s time to get back on task with other writing projects. In this case, the next project is The Multiverse Chronicles. My husband plots the story and writes the rough draft, while I polish and edit each episode. I’m currently sitting on episode 11 (I’ve got a few ideas on how to fix the problems I’ve been having with it, thanks to the critique group I attend.), and once I edit episode 12, I’ll go back through the first twelve episodes and look for continuity errors. I’ll also be looking at the sections at the end of each episode, which detail what’s going on behind the scenes and hopefully adds suspense, along with fixing a few areas I have highlighted as “Elders.”

For example:

Alia kicked a pebble. It skipped across the bricks and clanged against the iron fence. One of the guards, an older man with more physical prowess than she could ever hope to achieve, gave her a knowing, sad smile before returning his attention to the passing motor carriages.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the fountain at the center of the courtyard. Water trickled behind her, courtesy of the fountain’s elder statue. The elder’s copper limbs were buffed and polished of the green tarnish that constantly tried to creep in.

(MAYBE HAVE HER THINK SOMETHING ABOUT A RELEVANT ELDER HERE).

A round of applause and raucous laughter burst forth from the open palace doors, and Alia squeezed her eyes shut.

The engagement had been announced.

The reason I made note of areas like this is to remind me that there is a reference to world-building here that hasn’t been developed. In this case, the mythology that develops in the story’s world in place of traditional Greek/Roman mythology.

A quick run-down regarding Multiverse… it’s a pseudo-steampunk world (more fantasy now than steampunk) that takes place in a different universe during the year of what is our world’s 1953. Unlike our world, their world developed “magic” and their progress with technology slowed and took a different track. A few pre-historic and mythical creatures remained alive and well (pterosaurs and dragons), and several world religions didn’t take hold.

While Isaac and I went with the idea that they still developed the Greek/Roman culture to a large extent, the pantheon is different. We determined there would be five elders (which would tie into the five pendants of a later story), who were each people who had made themselves “immortal” by tying their spirits to an a jeweled artifact. At some point, one of these five elders (a trickster) gets greedy and attacks the others for their power, successfully defeating them until a “hero” rises to defeat the trickster and, despite being able to become a spirit herself, chooses to live to an old age and die along with the rest of the normal mortals.

That’s the gist of the mythology, but that was all we had. No detailed names or personalities, which makes it really hard to reference in a story.

So, today, I daydreamed of possible details for the mythology for the elders.

First, it had been a while since Isaac and I talked about the concept, so I’d forgotten about the hero existing, and instead placed the first Dragon Queen in the hero’s place.

Second, since this was supposed to be set in Greek/Roman times, I figured I’d draw on what I knew of that mythology to create personalities for the elders. I wasn’t too worried about it being exact, however, since this is a very, very alternate timeline. (Though I did do a bit of quick research once I started writing this post).

Third, the mythology of the elders doesn’t need to be exact since a lot of time has passed in the story, and lore naturally splinters with time.

Fourth, the artifacts each is elder is connected to would be probably be something special to them, and thus the people who worship them might swear upon those objects (by Athena’s sword…)

Fifth, this particular world already has ground rules in regards to what can be done with the various powers (such as only being able to have three powers before the human body begins to breaks down) and certain aspects of later lore (such as the jewels their artifacts would hold, since those are tied to the pendants I mentioned earlier).

So, with those things in mind, this is what I came up with.

For the first elder, I chose Athena as the base personality. I decided she would have shapeshifting (thanks to the story about Arachne… and the song “The Goddess and the Weaver” by Spiral Dance that  I now have stuck in my head), life-spirit (possibly… I may change this later), and super intellect (for being the goddess of wisdom). Her artifact would be based on ruby, for power.

For the second elder, I kept thinking of Ares and Hephaestus (Sad to say, I thought one was Greek and the other Roman, not that they were brothers. *Ahem.* Google searches are helpful). I debated making him a fire elemental and having him be a blacksmith, but that seemed too typical (I already have one of those guy’s in Magic’s Stealing, after all). Instead, I gave him a rare extended power… the ability to manipulate the shape of any metal. (Think ‘metal bending’ from Avatar: The Last Airbender). I’m debating on having him be the brother of the first elder. His artifact would be based on sapphire, for creation.

For the third elder, I decided he would be based somewhat on Demeter (for the harvest… and possibly referencing fertility, though a quick search shows that Aphrodite is better suited to that side of things). I also considered having him based on Artemis (which would put him at odds with the fertility reference), and giving him a relation to “the hunt.” Ultimately, I decided that he would have plant manipulation, beast mastery, and life-spirit for his powers. He is the elder of all things related to growth, and he’s the go-to elder if someone wants to request a bountiful harvest. His artifact would be based on an emerald, for growth.

For the fourth elder, I considered giving him time-bending powers, but then I realized that I was going to end up with six elders, and so he got cast aside and is now the “forgotten” elder. Don’t know if I’ll ever reference him or not.

Anyway, I’m thinking of giving this guy the ‘death’ extended power, which allows him to pretty much kill anyone without a second thought. (A very rare power, and obviously dangerous). If I recall, Isaac and I have that power set as being the combination of life-spirit, radiation, and carbon alchemy. (So he’d be a Hades/Thanatos reference, perhaps?) I’m thinking that he and the first elder were business partners when they were still human, and the first elder used her intellect with his alchemy to figure out how to make themselves spirits (and relatively immortal), and thus rise to power. His artifact would be  based on a diamond, for command over life.

For the fifth elder, I went less the way of a trickster, as originally planned, and instead considered referencing Pandora and/or Prometheus. This elder would have a “jack of all trades” power, which meant that she would be able to do minor dealings with all the elements involved, and she would be of the curious sort. Her artifact would be based on amber, for binding/time.

Based on these personalities, I figure that they successfully ruled their subjects for a long time, until “Pandora” got bored and decided to see how far she could take her powers. She steals a powerful artifact from “Demeter,” and goes about trying to create a strange land of her own, which would later be known as the Deep, a weird forest that, once entered, cannot be escaped. However, her experiments wreak havoc on the surrounding land, and the other elders attempt to attack her. However, due to the various magics in the Deep, and “Hades’ ” attempt to use radiation (known to harm spirits) to subdue her, he accidentally transforms her into a wraith-like monster, and she in turn attacks the elders.

I wasn’t satisfied with this.

Instead of wreaking havoc intentionally, what if “Pandora” stole the secret for becoming an elder from the others, and gave this to the regular humans around her (where we get the Prometheus reference)? Seeing that she’s reduced their power, the other elders attempt to contain her by creating the Deep (a labyrinth of sorts), but when “Hades” attempts to do the final containment with his powers over light, he overdoes his power, which then conflicts with the strange magic in the area and transforms “Pandora” into a wraith-like spirit, who must now feed off other spirits to sustain herself. She goes mad, and the first person she attacks upon breaking free is “Hades.” She then proceeds to torment the land in elemental whirlwinds and firestorms as she searches out the other elders to kill them.

(At one point, I considered that the elders would either go into hiding, according to those who might still worship them, or that “Athena” and “Hephaestus” would survive long enough to seek out a promising young woman who could talk to dragons, thus leading into the Dragon Queen lore, but then Isaac reminded me that the main cultures in the Multiverse story at this point didn’t worship them, and that the Hero, not the First Dragon Queen, slayed the trickster.)

She eventually does kill the elders, and continues wreaking havoc until a lone hero rises up to defeat her (we can thank the anime, The Devil is a Part-Timer, for this little bit of story). Once “Pandora” is defeated, the Hero could choose to become immortal herself, but decides instead to end the reign of the spirits over them, and thus ends the time of the elders.

I still like the idea of her stealing Demeter’s artifact, so maybe she does do that, but nothing is set in stone. A lot of this will probably change.

But this version does work well in connection with the pendants, because now a certain alchemist in one of the later stories has research fodder that can be used to achieve his goals. Everything ties together, and there might even be a bit of a cycle from this story which will be relevant to other stories in this universe.

Maybe. We’ll see.

I talked to Isaac about the latest idea for the history of the elders, and he seemed to like it. We still need to come up with names for them, preferably based on Greek or Roman names, but I suspect it would be better not to name them directly since they’re supposed to be characters in their own right.

But, more importantly for now, I have a loose mythology that I can reference in Multiverse. Now that statue Alia sits by can finally have a name. 🙂

I hope you enjoyed this post. How deep do you like to delve into the mythology of your fictional universes?

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